April 2020

April has been a wonderful month for our family.  Yes, we've been in quarantine the entire time and yes, we've had some rough days but we feel richly blessed.

One reason we have felt so blessed is because we have a little one on the way!  We started off the month with an April Fool's joke, trying to convince Atticus that we had a baby mouse on the way (we had just read Stuart Little.)  He wasn't fooled in the least!

Since Dane couldn't come to the ultrasound with me this year (thanks to the quarantine) we decided to wait and find out about the gender with our kiddos together.  It was so worth the wait!

https://photos.app.goo.gl/26TK2FEvcVUrtYwN7

Gender Reveal Photo Shoot

 

We've chosen to name our little angel Lucy Laurel.

Dane's great-grandma was named Lucia, the Spanish version of Lucy.  From what I've heard Dane's father and grandfather share, she was the sweetest (tiniest!) little lady and we are proud to have our daughter named after her.

Additionally, while serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Armenia I came to love the name Lusine.  "Lusin" means "Moon" and "luys" means "light."  The same is true for the name Lucy (its root, "lux," means "light.")  I can think of no name that better captures the way we see this sweet little ray of light who is on her way to us.

It might be obvious to most but Laurel is the name of one of my sisters.  I can't remember a time I didn't want to name a daughter after her if I had the chance.  She is just above me in age and, in many ways, was both a mother and best friend to me while growing up.  (This, in no way, means my mother or other sisters were less nurturing.  They are all incredible!)  Our relationship has just always been special.  She has been a rock of steadiness through all of our stages of life.  Her faith and stoicism has been an inspiration to me and I would feel so blessed if my own daughter were to develop similar attributes.

Another reason I've felt so blessed this month is that I love Easter.  It's easily my favorite holiday and, though I missed celebrating with friends, we started a new tradition this year that I loved.  We held our first Passover or Seder meal.
 
I’ve been wanting to do this for years but just haven’t ever gone for it. My family doesn’t love lamb (and I’m not the one shopping right now!) so we substituted garlic chicken and had fried potatoes, Charoset, a boiled egg, “bitter herbs” (romaine lettuce), a karpas veggie (I used green beans and celery), flat bread and grape juice.

We ate at our coffee table (sat on the floor) and watched this beautiful video of the Last Supper (they were celebrating Passover).

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=997ni1xcmKw

I don’t know if Atticus absorbed any of the information I shared (about Passover and how it goes hand in hand with Easter) but preparing for it and making it happen made my Holy Week so much more meaningful.  It's definitely something I want to do every year.  

   
Of course, Easter Sunday came and we had mixed results with trying to make it Christ-centered...but we did our best and my testimony was renewed that our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, lives.  He atoned for our sins, died for us and rose again that we, too, might live again.

At dinner we were disappointed when we asked Atticus to share a reason that he loved Jesus.  He told us he couldn't think of anything.  We started suggesting reasons and he just shook his head, saying, "I don't know anything about it.  You know all about it.  But I don't know."  It took me a while to think it over but, honestly, that is the best thing I could ask of him right now.  He knows that Dane and I know.  Even if he turns his back on everything we believe and teach (how I hope that doesn't happen!), he knows and will remember that we know.  I just want to live my life accordingly with that knowledge and help him to one day come to know for himself.
  
One sweet experience we had this month that might help him come to know involved a lost slingshot.  He'd been told to leave his slingshot on his nightstand but in the morning it had fallen behind his large and pretty much immobile bed.  Grouchy and feeling sick, I was pretty pessimistic about our ability to retrieve it.  Atticus suggested that we pray for help.  Immediately after his prayer I was surprised to find myself able to fish it out on my first try.  Atticus was quick to recognize that his prayer had been answered and has referred to this a few times since.  

Atticus has become quite the artist this month.  He loves going to the Art Hub for Kids and following their directions.  We have all his artwork in a file- he loves watching it as a slide show.  We are so proud of him.  I've also included photos of his costume creations in this file.  This month, alone, he has turned himself into Kylo Ren, the Black Panther and a ninja.  Some of these projects take a LOT of time so I have made a new rule that we can only work on one a day (he would through three in a row at me and it was a great source of frustration) and that has helped me regain some peace.

  

He also knitted himself a hat!  It was meant to be practice so that he could sew a hat for his baby sister (if I can ever get the right yarn from the store!)  It was a rough start for the two of us but once we got going it took only a few days to finish it up.  He did a great job.

But, like any family, this quarantine has had plenty of rough days.  One particularly rough morning Atticus announced that he was running away.  We talked about some of the details of his move.  He was going to live in the dirt hills.  There is a cave over there and he'd take a hockey stick as a weapon to protect himself.  When asked about food, he assured me he'd be back to visit and even added that he'd do his homework when he was visiting.

He packed his little Ninja Turtle suitcase (underwear, socks, a sweatshirt and a bathrobe- during a Las Vegas heat wave!) and, after I convinced him to eat some breakfast, he headed out to the garage.  He took one step out of the garage and his head drooped down.

"It's SO HOT." he said, miserably.

"I know," I replied, "And it's only 8 in the morning!  I think it'll be over 100 today.  I think when we get back Hinckley and I will go swimming."

He looked at me sadly, "I wish I had somewhere to swim."

I whispered back to him, "You don't have to do this."

We headed right back inside to go swimming and had a fairly decent day.

Atticusisms-

• "Hinckley, do you want a smoovly?"
• "I don’t want a girl!...It’s not fair!"
• "Can I PLEASE learn to sew?  Please?!" (The next day, wanting to make slippers for the baby)
• "Look at this!  You will be amazed!  I am so impressed at myself!" (While drawing)
• “... understand?” (After everything he says or suggests.)
• “I hate having a mom!”
• “It’s not fair!”
• “I don’t trust God!” (After a video concluded with the question, “Do you trust God?”)
• "Oh, great!  We’re going to have dolls everywhere!  And I’m going to have to pick them up."

Hinckley was much easier this month.  He can still explode like a volcano but most of the time he is so easy to get along with and goes with the flow.  He still LOVES the vacuum and is always wanting to check on it.  He makes the cutest "vacuum" sound while pushing it around (It's heavy!  He must be really strong to push it around.)   It's the same sound he makes while pretending to "blend" things.
   
He has also taken to playing with our large Darth Vader figurine.  He'll tell me to "talk Darth Vader" and we'll take him all over the playroom and house (I, of course, am pretending to be Darth Vader while the two of them talk.)  He especially loves to put Darth Vader (or any stuffed animal) to sleep in his crib.  He turns on the sound machine, turns off the lights, sings a song and tells whoever is in his crib, "Night night, sweet dreams."

I have felt for quite some time that all of this nurturing indicates he will be a wonderful big brother.  This morning I was even more convinced.  After taking him for a walk in the stroller he wanted to push it down the street.  The entire time he was pretending there was a baby in the stroller.  Every so often, he would pretend the baby was crying, saying, "Waah, waah.  Baby crying.  I stop."  He would go to the front and say, "It's okay, baby."  After I showed him just once, he would go to the front, pretend to hold the baby, saying, "Sh" and then put the baby back and keep walking.  It's crazy- he really hasn't been around very many children who are smaller than him.  I believe that compassion and nurturing are spiritual gifts that just come naturally to him.

Don't let this sweet side fool you, though.  He's as tough as nails.  He has become quite the sword fighter this month (the two fight with lightsabers all the time).  He makes the fiercest face you've ever seen and really puts up a good fight.  And he is violently protective of his brother.  Whenever Atticus gets in trouble with Dane, Hinckley yells and follows Dane around yelling, "STOP IT!" and hitting him.

This month he started nodding (if he has before this, I haven't noticed.)  It's so cute- he has to think about it and does it with such large motions that he looks like he's head banging.

I'm happy to report that he has had far more success sleeping in his big boy bed. We still have setbacks, however.  A couple of times he has touched his poop (he seems to want to poop only when he is relaxed in bed.  I'm not sure what to make of it.)  Thankfully he hasn't played with it yet but any suggestions would be appreciated to keep this from getting out of hand.  For now, if he touches his poop he has to sleep in his crib that evening.  It definitely seems effective.

Hinckley speaks-

• ("Do you want a boy or a girl?")  "Girl!" 
• "No!  It’s too dangerous!" (In response to one of Atticus's suggestions)
• "Gosh dang it!"
• "Daddy working?"  ("Yes.") "He always comes back."
• "Bless blender to sleep well, bless ___ to sleep well... Bless (anyone suggested) to sleep well.”
• “I not scawed.” ("I'm not scared.")
• "Mommy, I scawed."
• “I did it!”
• "I get a TWEAT!" (Each morning after keeping the sleep rules in his big boy bed.) 
• "Mmmm, delicious."
• "That amazing!"
• "Aaah!  Bee!"  (Yelled in terror at the sight of ANY bug- or leaf resembling a bug)
• "Pencil! No cran, no marker!" (Loves using pencils lately.  Holds it remarkably well.)
• "Yeah, sure." (Answer to just about everything)
• "OKAY!" (Often yelled in reply when asked to do something multiple times.)

This was our first entire month spent in quarantine.  Once again, we've found many fun ways to spend our time but there have also been days that felt like weeks.  As always, counting our blessings never fails to help us.
  
One such blessing came in the form of a blend tec jar.  It sounds silly when I write it, but I was frustrated.  The rotating blade in our jar had gotten rigid and we were worrying it would ruin our blender motor.  I had begun searching for a replacement but was reluctant to pay the $100 or more that it would require.  Then, just a few days later, a friend and fellow church member shared that she had one she wanted to give away for free.  Even in small ways, like this, the Lord shows us that He's aware of us and cares, even about the details.
 
Our prayers continue to go out for those on the front lines who are fighting this illness and especially for those who have been and will be affected financially.  The effects of this quarantine will be long lasting and devastating, I'm afraid.  But I believe that people can rise to the occasion if given the chance.  We can help each other get through the recovery that is on the horizon.

Until next month!  Here's hoping that I get to see many of you by then.  Stay strong, my friends.  

Off we go, laughing and scratching: March 2020

Wow, was March a crazy month.

We were lucky.  Right before going into quarantine we were able to have a wonderful weekend with our family up in Utah.  We were able to hug our loved ones and converse with them, face to face (man am I starting to crave face to face conversations!)
   
Dane and I got to go skiing together for the first time.  The snow was terrible but we didn't care!  We had never even ridden on the lift together (since we usually had kids to take turn watching) and we just laughed and laughed.  We are so grateful to my mom for giving us that chance.  The resorts all closed three days later and it was right before we all went home and...pretty much never left.  In the picture below you can see both of the boys passed out in the car on our way back.

That's right- we came home on a Sunday, the first Sunday that our church cancelled church, as it turned out, and life hasn't been the same since.

The Corona Virus has brought great fear and uncertainty to the world, at large, which has equated to unique challenges for pretty much everyone on an individual level.  I have gone through many emotional stages through it all- anger and scoffing at the initial panicking and hoarding that took place, stubbornness and disbelief as organizations seemed to be folding unnecessarily for social distancing, feeling humbled and even embarrassed at my initial reactions as I learned more, and, presently, patience and compliance as we've tried to be as cooperative as possible with the measures our society is taking to slow the spread of the virus.

Of course, I've felt fear.  We already have friends who are infected with the COVID-19 and we feel a considerable amount of anxiety for our family members who are especially vulnerable.  We pray for them and actually participated in a day of fasting and prayer on Sunday, March 29, led by our dear prophet, Russell M. Nelson.  We pray for the healthcare professionals who are on the front lines fighting the disease, for the manufacturers who have now turned all of their production to medical supplies that are desperately needed and for all others fighting this in various ways.

We're especially praying for our economy.  We're deeply concerned about the devastating effects all the safety precautions are having and will continue to have.  We're actually eating out now more than ever to hopefully help out various restaurants that might be suffering.  There are so many industries that this is affecting.

Another fear that we have is the difficulty we might have in regaining some of the rights we have surrendered.  Hopefully this proves to be unfounded but Dane and I are lovers of history and there is a pattern that we can't ignore.  Once a right is forfeited it can be very, very difficult to regain.  I don't want to say that the cure is worse than the disease but such has been the case in many instances in history.  Only time will tell.

But we are dealing with the inconveniences and fear that this pandemic has brought as best we can- with faith and stoicism.  We're trying to count our blessings and are seeing the unique opportunities this situation has brought- to us as a family and others.

Here's an example that has been on my mind (I copied and pasted it from a post I shared on our ward Relief Society page) 

I had an idea planted, probably a year ago, that I should get a deep freeze. It didn’t sound convenient and it would take space... we made all kinds of excuses and so we didn’t and put it off. Over the last year, however, all of those excuses became irrelevant. So, just a few weeks ago, when a salesman came by with just the kind of frozen food I was hoping to stock up on at a price I had been waiting for we didn’t hesitate at all. We went for it and got a deep freeze later that day. It has been so comforting in the last week.

I know if I hadn’t had that prompting over a year ago I probably would have hesitated and not made the purchase.

We would be fine without it, don’t get me wrong, but it has been such a source of comfort- both the food and the feeling that the Lord knows what is coming, He knows us and our preferences, and He can and will prepare us.

Here are more blessings we've been counting.

Though I didn't get my beloved corned beef and cabbage for St. Patrick's Day we had a wonderful time.  A naughty leprechaun still managed to visit and surprise the boys and we were able to go on a fun shamrock hunt all through our neighborhood and to ward members' houses.  We found 87 of the darn things!  I was exhausted but it was a lot of fun.



I also just love having church at home.  Don't get me wrong- we all miss our friends and the feeling you get at church (I really miss our nursery kids!) but there has been such a sweet spirit as we've held sacrament meeting here, just the four of us.

Okay, enough with my thoughts about the Corona Virus.  Our boys are still growing and making us laugh.

While Atticus has definitely had cabin fever (the first week there were a few days that he went storming out into the garage yelling, "I don't care if I'm sick!" and very nearly violated our quarantine) he has also had such wonderful opportunities to create.  There are such kind people out there.  Just about every day he has asked to do art, meaning he'll watch an art tutorial by a professional and draw along with them.  He has improved so much and it is encouraging to see him feel greater confidence and start to get over his desire for being perfect.

This month he taught himself to whistle and we read two chapter books together (James and the Giant Peach and Stuart Little).  He's been climbing anything he can (which is why Dane and I put together a climbing wall up in the playroom- now to get some climbing holds!)  He climbed the gate to our fence and has been working his way along the cinderblock fence.  At the end of the month he made it to the back fence and was talking to his friend, Zuri.  We'll do anything to have a conversation in person, it seems.

A fun first for Atticus has been watching the first six episodes of Star Wars with Dane.  I have mixed feelings about it but the truth is he has heard the stories from the books we have and bedtime stories with his dad for years now... so there were no surprises for him.  We won't be allowing any of the others for quite some time but man, he has loved them (and handled them surprisingly well!)

He is asking more deep questions and is starting to share spiritual thoughts with us.  As we were discussing a friend who is of another faith he asked me, "How do we know that our church is true?  Maybe they are the right ones?"  It was a good discussion.

Another time, he told me, "Mom, I have a scripture lesson," and shared the cutest thought about how we have to stay anchored to Christ and the gospel or the winds of life will blow us down (he had been playing with a piece of metal and positioning it by itself and then by a larger object).

Last, when we were making slime and talking about states of matter he solemnly told me that we have to stay solid on the path and the gospel or we'll just run off like liquids or float away like gas.  It was wonderful.  He still tells us, "I never get answers to my prayers!" but some of this is sinking in, already.  That's all I can ask for.

Atticusisms-

• "I’m starting to like being on the good guys team more."  
• "I have very sensitive ears.  You need to tiptoe."
• "I mere Elinore." ("[I'm going to marry] Elinore," written in a note to his cute friend, Ellie)
• "I want to see Mimi!" (When we get to her house he heads straight downstairs to play video games- he totally played us!)
• "It’s okay, we all have different talents." (He's starting to deal with not mastering something right away!  Hooray!)
• "That’s not my good hand.  It’s only good for fighting"
• "Don’t worry, Hinckley.  Bobba and Nana will take good care of us."
• "No you can’t!/shouldn’t!  You have a baby!"
• "Mom, since you have a baby and shouldn’t work out will you sit and watch a show with me?"
• "Freaking dang, it’s not fair!"
• "I wish I’d never come to this earth!" (after being told life isn’t fair and that’s why we came to earth)
• "I’m going to draw a leopard.  It’s in my head.  My brain will direct me."

Hinckley is such a cutie.  He has a little bouncy, toddler run with high knees that makes us laugh.  He is using full sentences all the time- probably 60% of the time.  He wants to help with EVERYTHING in the kitchen.  It’s adorable but can be so frustrating and messy.  

He’s still loving the blender.  In fact, when we visited family he had a blender that he carried around at each house, the spoiled little guy.


Speaking of the trip, my brother was sick while we were there (not Corona virus) so Danny didn’t get to spend time with the boys but this gave them a chance to bond with my sister Bobbie and brother Corky more.  Hooray!

Here is Hinckley getting some royal treatment before bed.  What you can't see is that Ashton and Corky were in the room, too!  He was so happy- lucky boy.

Since we’ve been at home so much he has had more chances to wear undies and use the potty.  He’s actually really great in the morning but if we put pants or shorts over the underwear his chances of success go down, considerably.  And he is not anywhere close to being ready to poop in the potty.  

This child does NOT like pooping.  Whenever he feels it coming he’ll announce it loudly and will walk around on his tiptoes, squeezing his little cheeks to try and keep it in.  And we’re not talking about hard poops, either.  They are fine!- soft and healthy.  We’re thinking he just doesn’t want something to happen that’s out of his control.  I’ll have more to report on this next month, I’m sure.

I’m also hoping I’ll have more to report on his bike riding next month.  It took a cute pep talk from Atticus but Hinckley has finally decided he wants to be a big boy and has been asking to ride his balance bike!  This is a big deal- he looks just like Atticus did when he first started.  We’re hoping that in a month or two he’ll be balancing like a champ.

Hinckley Speaks-

• "Help me." (I want to help)
• "Dump it."
• "MOM!  I POOPING!" (does not want to poop)
• "_______, Kay?"
• (After a request) " Kay, sure."
• "Max, sit Eekee" ("Max, sit with Hinckley")
• (Atticus- "Marco") "Polo!" (Again and again...)
• "Mmmm.  Delicious!"
• "I lub oo, Mom." (Unprompted, maybe once a day, accompanied by a hug)
• "Vacuum!" (The vacuum is the new blender as of the end of the month.)

Here are some of our quarantine exploits-
    

Chatting with friends, building swings, box creations, slime and so many other activities.  

February 2020

February was a much better month for our family than January.
    
We started the month off with a photo shoot at the Las Vegas Temple.  It was a gorgeous day at a beautiful location. 
    
Valentine's Day was so wonderful.  We tried a few simple traditions and we loved them!  We started by reading and discussing Moroni 7:45-47 (all about Charity.)   The boys had hearts on their doors with things written on them that we love about them.  That evening, we had a heart-shaped pizza, a candlelit dinner and drank Martinelli's in our plastic stemware.  We went around the table and said things we loved about each person.  The boys loved it!  In my opinion, it is such a better holiday when you focus on familial love!
      

While our "honeymoon period" with the angelic Atticus did come to an end, we still love our 5-year-old.  He asks almost every day if he can do his homework (although, truth be told, it's because he is trying to earn a show.)  He is still more willing to help around the house and he started reading the "See Sam" readers!  He is flying through them.  We couldn't be more proud.

  

We tried having him go without a pull-up at night.  It worked for a couple nights...but... he's just not ready.  So we're scrapping it for now.  But we have had the boys sleep in the same room, successfully, two nights in a row!  So we seem to have hit one of the milestones we were shooting for.  

One milestone we were not expecting to even talk about this month was tying his shoes.  We watched a video that had a cute song about tying shoes a month ago or more.  Atticus got very frustrated and wouldn't let me show him... or say anything, for that matter (this is very often the case when I try to help/teach/coach him.)  Then, just a week ago or so, he grabbed his shoes and tied them, again and again.  His first several times were slow and halting, but he has gotten pretty confident.  He's even attempted to teach some friends already.  I honestly don't understand how he masters things so suddenly.  It's like he completely rejects all instruction and then his subconcsious absorbs anything that was said/shown... and it works its way through...?  All I know is that he and I learn very differently.
    
Speaking of thinking differently, he had another "Buddy Bear" assignment that did not go the way that Dane and I expected.  It was hilarious.  (Instead of Buddy Bear saving the day the T-Rex was "faking to be dead" and "killded" Buddy!)
    
His reading and writing have come along so far!  I can totally write him simple notes in church and he can read them!  He writes back the sweetest messages.
  

Atticusisms:

• "Quick! Drink some lemon water!" (When I was feeling especially sick at the beginning of the month.)
• "My mommy has a baby in her mouth."
• "Skinny people are fast!...and strong!"
• ("Come on boys, let's get clean.")  “But it feels so good not to move in the water.”
• (Playing battleship- Dane, “are you moving your ships?”)  “Yeah, they’re drifting!”
• "Why wouldn't I ________?" (fill in the blank with a friendly act- "share my food," "give you a turn," etc.)

    

Hinckley is still really hard but we are finding that our methods are working (slowly.)  He is hitting and getting violent with us far less often (although once he knows he's in trouble he then feels like he has nothing left to lose and can get pretty crazy.)  He really does try to apologize and/or change his behavior pretty quickly when we start to give a warning.
      
We still have rough days.  Just the day before yesterday we had an early, rough, scream-filled morning and yes, poop was on our kitchen floor.  Dane and I were exhausted and bewildered.  I'm sure I'll have more to report on this new development next month.

Still, there have been some really sweet moments.

Early in the month we all got sick (the whole street got a yucky stomach virus) and Dane gave all three of us blessings (such a comfort, by the way!)  It really must have made an impression on Hinckley.  Afterward, he kept giving me "bwessings” before going to bed.  The next day I walked into the room and Atticus and Hinckley were taking turns giving each other "blessings."  Even though we needed to talk about when, how and by whom such things are to be done, it was cool to see them trying to follow in their dad's footsteps.  They are listening and watching.  It makes me nervous sometimes but it also gives me a lot of hope.

We love that he's starting to dress up (so far, Spiderman has been his favorite and, yes, he totally insisted on keeping the mask on for almost an entire day.)

We love his newest favorite songs.  The majority of the month it was "I feel my Savior’s love."  He sings it beautifully.  For the last week it's been the "Ghostbusters" theme song.  I try to oblige him but man does it make for an awkward lullaby!

My last favorite moment of the month was at a friendly scrimmage we held several days ago.  After the game ended I asked all of the kids to bring in the cones.  Hinckley was there, wearing his soccer jersey, thrilled to be allowed to be on the "socco' team," as he saw it.  I asked him to grab a cone that was near him and he didn't miss a beat.  He ran right over, grabbed a pine cone and brought it to me.

Hinckley speaks:

• "No! No scwiptures!"
• "Mommy/Daddy I sleep well!"  (Even if he hasn't slept at all during nap time.)
• "Addiss, sleep well?" (Every morning after singing our good morning song.)
• "I on socco team."

Last, I wanted to share a cool experience I had, just for myself.

A dear friend of mine posted a 10 year overview for all of the things she had accomplished in the last decade.  It was amazing.  It came as no surprise that she'd lived such a full life- she's an amazing, one of a kind person!- but I must admit, I found myself feeling jealous.  So I decided to go over my last 10 years of travel, work, and accomplishments.  I've led a very different life but it really made me feel better.  I went to bed feeling grateful for the opportunities I have had, even if I still felt a little glum about our current and upcoming travel plans.

The next morning I got a phone call from a travel company that I haven't heard from in 6 years.  I had organized a tour for them while I was teaching and we had loved it.  The associate proceeded to tell me about several options I could do right now or even in the next couple years.

It was the sweetest little pick-me-up.  I felt like I had received a little love note from the Lord, letting me know that there will be time for some of the passions I've laid aside.  I just need to be patient and it'll fall into place.  There are seasons of life and I LOVE where I am.  Sure, there are plenty of things I am looking forward to but I would not change where I'm at for the world.