January 2020

Despite some distractions (sickness and a broken phone), we have felt richly blessed this last month.

Probably the easiest blessing to explain has been Atticus's improved behavior.  There was a solid week where he was just about as angelic as an energetic, 5-year-old boy can be.  We're still not sure if it was because his little brother was especially hard that week (well, he's been especially hard the whole month!) and he could see how tired and frustrated we were.  All we know is that we love 5-year-olds!  He did regress a bit after that week but my goodness, he's only human!  He is, honestly, a joy to be around much of the time.

(Here he is with two of his sweet friends.  We never wanted the winter break to end!)
  
Here are a few examples of ways that this boy has melted our hearts this month

One day we were at the park and a mom recruited several children to "race" around the park in an obstacle course.  Atticus wanted to participate but, truth be told, I did not want to let him.  All I could think of was our embarrassing, traumatic experience during the Thanksgiving Turkey trot.  He was the smallest and youngest of all the kids by a long shot and I wanted to spare him embarrassment if I could.  So, I whispered to him before they began, "You're the smallest.  You don't have to do this."  He just smiled back at me, saying, "It's okay, it's okay!  I can do this."

The race began and he was immediately way behind the rest of the kids.   My heart plummeted.  "Here it comes," I thought.  But Atticus totally proved me wrong.  He just kept running and never gave up.  The other kids ran up and down the playground equipment and he was still rounding the first part of the course.  He climbed up and climbed down.  When he wasn't sure of the next step, there were no tears.  He just yelled to us, "Where do I go now?"  and up he climbed again.  When he finished, still going strong, all of us parents told him, "You won!"  I was pretty darn close to crying as I looked at his excited face.

Another example of this newfound stoicism came while hiking.  He and Dane went with our wonderful neighbors on a Sunday.  I stayed home while Hinckley napped.  Dane described a very difficult, fairly dangerous hike on which Atticus did not complain or show any fear.

He was careful, obedient, brave and so tough.  We were SO proud of him!


We were also pleasantly surprised at his lasting interest in a "grown up" book.  I was shocked when he asked me to read The Hobbit to him and even more surprised when he stayed interested.  It was his first book with no pictures, after all.  It took us almost a whole month but he stayed engaged the entire time!  Sure, we had to explain pretty much every page but wow, are we proud of his comprehension and attention span.

In fact, sometimes he understood too much.  Right after hearing about Gollum he started tiptoeing around the room, trembling.  When I asked what he was doing he said, "I’m looking for Gollum’s shadow!"  And his questions were pretty darn intelligent.  At one point he asked me, "Where is Gandalf?!" The next sentence had Gandalf showing up just in the nick of time.

Another absolute pleasure is watching Atticus interact with Hinckley.  He has become such a wonderful big brother and is so vocal about how much he loves his brother.  He's always helping him up and down (he insists), and he is now the peacemaker in the family.  When Hinckley starts to get mad Atticus will do everything in his power to distract him.  If that doesn't work he is quick to get an increasingly stubborn little brother to apologize.

The last example I'll share involves a school assignment.  He was asked to do something kind and then draw a picture of it for a "Kindness Quilt."  I didn't even have to offer a suggestion.  He knew exactly WHO he wanted to serve and it was a wonderful, genuinely kind idea.  He then drew a sweet picture of what he had done and was in such earnest as he described how much that person needed some cheering up.

Anyone who thinks that they can't work to overcome a weakness is selling themselves short.  Back in September I felt completely at odds with my son.  We were both so angry all the time.  There was so much dischord in our home.  I took a parenting class, starting in October, and I feel like the two of us have been improving ourselves ever since.  We are so not perfect but I do feel like we've experienced a small miracle in our home.  Atticus and I are closer than we have been in a long, long time.

Atticus-

• "I want to help!  I’m good at shoveling!"  (Literally running to help Dane.)
• "Can I help you?"  (So much more often!)
• "Can I help you do the 'tinsels?" (utensils)
• "Let’s do something as a family!" (Every night before bedtime.)
• "Lenny is my girlfriend."  (When we asked, "What about Ellie?" he looked at us as if we were morons, responding, "They both are!")
• 
• (His friend tells me:) "Atticus is my boyfriend and I’m going to marry him...We’re on a date."
• "I made something that will make you poop your pants!"
• ”Hey, can you guys play?  I’m keeping my word about playing later.”
• (Preaching to a neighbor about coffee) "It's in the scriptures, 'Thou shall not drink it.'  Do you go to church?  Are you trying to stop [drinking coffee]?" Ha ha ha!  They were so kind about this!
• "Can you please try not to let yourself eat it?" (After a TON of spaghetti and asking Mommy to save it.)
• "Uhhh, mom? I don’t like putting plastic in my mouth...?"  (When I showed him a pill capsule.)
• "Don't you be mean to my brudder!"  (While I'm disciplining an out of control Hinckley.) 
• "I love my brother, he's cool."  
• "I love sitting with you." (To Hinckley.)
• "I'm bleeding!  I'm bleeding!" (He skinned both knees this month-a few times, actually- and reacted worse each time, I'm afraid.)

I tried to reenact a picture of Atticus in the above photos... As you can see, I utterly failed.  Hinckley was NOT having it!

As you may have gathered, Hinckley has been a handful this month.  It's been our hardest month yet, behaviorally.  Sure, he's had a cold for a couple weeks but that feels like nothing by comparison.  He has just been HARD.  He has these fascinations (particularly with our blender- he wakes up and the first word out of his mouth is his version of "blender") and ideas and is now as fixed as any 2-year-old in what he wants to do.  Regardless of the mess or danger it might involve.
   
Here he is with the blender bottle (taken by Atticus.)  The second photo is on a day he insisted on wearing this coat outside.  The third shows him holding our cute friend's hand.  Not only would he not let me carry him or hold his hand, he kept telling me to "go" and "stay" away!  Oh man, such a punk!

There have been days that are so rough (he wants NOTHING to do with me until bedtime!) The last couple days of the month we seem to be seeing some improvement...maybe.  We are just hoping that by staying consistent with our limits and consequences we'll get there.

He's still adorable, of course.  He talks in full sentences most of the time, telling us what he needs, wants, or needs help with.  (Who can resist a 2-year-old who grabs your hand?!)  He still thinks that anything on the ground outside is probably poop.  And he takes such great care of his stuffed animals.  He got a Santa Bear for Christmas and he spent an entire morning caring for him, making sure that "Santa Bo" slept well, went potty, washed his hands, brushed his teeth, went back to sleep, and the like.  Atticus never did things like that at his age so it cracks us up.

I do wish Hinckley weren't so accident-prone.  The poor little guy, he had a memorable fall at the park where he fell off a swing onto his nose and skinned his face.  I was so worried about his nose that I missed a cut on his hand that took even longer to heal.

Did he avoid the swing after that?  Nope.  Not Hinckley.  After crying for a minute and asking for a "ban-aid" he ran right back to the same swing to try the same trick.  I can't decide if he's crazy or just really brave.

Hinckley speaks:

• "Mahnah" ("Blender.")
• "Dahn it!" ("Darn it!")
• "Do-Ti-La-So-Fa-Mi-Re-Do." (Can sing it backwards!)
• "Help me, Mommy."
• "Follow me, _______." (He'll then grab that person's hand)
• "Go away!" (to Max)
• "Wainbow!" "Temple!" "Jesus!" (Songs he asks for before going to sleep.)
• Loves tag and chasing “chase us!” “Getchoo!!”
• “Struction site!” (LOVES his Construction Site books!)
• "ss..sss.Stop.  Eekee sing.' ("Hinckley sing." after which he will sing his version of whatever I'm singing- Nephi's Courage, etc.)
• “Oh well, Oh well, dee angel id say...” (Singing "The First Noel")
• "Go your woom, Addiss!" (After wrestling... Still not sure why.)
• "Mommy/Daddy, I nice." (Said almost immediately after a throwing an epic fit.)

A memory we were grateful for this month was participating in the Las Vegas March for Life.  Dane and I feel so passionately about this and hope it will be the first of many such events for our family.  

This has nothing to do with anything but I came down one evening and found Max as you see him pictured.  It would appear that we have a cross-dressing dog!