May 2020- No better time to be a Ninja

I know our country is on fire as I write this (literally, in some places) so, while this might seem like a shallow post, part of me feels like happy, normal news is especially important for society right now.  We need to be reminded of what is good and beautiful in a world that is focused so much on hate and anger. 

May was another good month for our family.  I don't want to jinx it but we definitely have never gone this long without anyone getting at least a little sick.  Atticus really came to grasp the pandemic and quarantine, which helped immensely.  It's also helped that, as we have studied the news and our own feelings, we've decided that our family feels comfortable with small gatherings again.  We've had playdates here and there and just these small interactions have been a game changer.  Atticus has been his old self again.  We still have plenty of drama at our house but it is so, so much more manageable.

My favorite part of the month, of course, was Mother's Day.  Seriously, though.  I set my expectations low, told Dane exactly what I wanted, and felt spoiled.  It was the best Mother's Day yet. 
Dane painted Lucy's room gray with a lavender accent wall, got me some needed maternity clothes and flowers, Atticus made the cutest pictures, and even my in-laws sent a beautiful bouquet.  Since Atticus wasn't in school or church to make a craft I helped the boys make one for me.  And I got just what I wanted!  There's no shame in that, right?  I made two more for my mother and mother-in-law, so I felt justified.

Here are Atticus's pictures.  The first two are for me ("Thank you for _____ me" ?) and the third was a gun with lots of extra magazines for Dane so he wouldn't feel left out.

Another highlight this month was our indoor campout.  We were hoping to go to a real campground (it would have been Hinckley's first time) but they are all closed in our state.  When we discussed this, disappointedly, at the dinner table, Atticus yelled, "What?!  Don't they know that people go camping to socially distance?!"  My mouth dropped open at the wisdom a little 5-year-old possessed. 

We made miniature tents, set up our tent, ate a meal we would have eaten over a campfire, roasted marshmallows and made s'mores and we read a whole bunch of books about camping together.  It was such a fun day.

As it turned out, we dodged a bullet because we had no idea how scared cute little Hinckley would get just from being in a tent up in our playroom.  When I pretended to be a bear for maybe 5 seconds outside the tent, laughing as I did so, he was terrified and kept talking about bears and tigers.  We realized that if we had taken him to an unfamiliar environment he could very well have stayed up all night in fear! 

It took them both a long time to fall asleep but sleep they finally did.  And rose about an hour early.  So we had a very cranky Saturday... but it was still totally worth it.


Oh man, Atticus is so full of life.  This month he has been fully obsessed with ninjas and green berets.  He often dresses as a "ninja green beret" which involves wearing army pants, a hoodie under his bathrobe and a bandana- all impossibly hot when you're in air conditioning!  (He'll insist on going outside and ride his bike and come in shortly thereafter, dripping in sweat.  Why???)  For a couple of days he was convinced that he needed to find a bad guy whose license plate was ABC-123 and would ask passing cars if they'd seen him.  I'm pretty sure Dane gave him that idea...

Still, if you're going to be a ninja, there's no better time to do it than during a pandemic.

Something else that has helped Atticus's mood this month was seeing his wonderful preschool teacher.  I found out, after the fact, that a car parade was held for her (I'm convinced it was an honest mix-up and so I have no hard feelings).  He has been talking about seeing her again this entire time and when I found out I was devastated.  (Yep- I cried more than once.)

When I told his teacher what had happened she came to our rescue and stopped by our house, wearing a mask, to say hi.  Atticus was on cloud nine.  He had made her a treat and the cutest card (as you can see above).  He was able to show her some of his artwork and homework and some of his tricks...  She showered him with love and praise.  I could tell that he felt like a million bucks.

I almost cried again to see my little boy so happy.  It was like a bad dream had ended for him as he got closure with someone he cares so much about. 

Atticusisms:

• "I'm going to lick your lips!" ("What?!  NO!- and was forcefully stopped by Mommy.) “When am I going to get married?!"  (I swear- this is not based on something he has seen!)   
• "Would you be quiet?! I’m trying to count!" (While I'm singing "Count Your Many Blessings" to him after some impressive whining.)
• "No samples!?" (At Costco)  "I’m blowing raspberries at every worker I see!" (Later)  "Finally, a worker! I’m blowing blueberries at him!" (The blueberries, er raspberries were blown through his mask.  He later gave the cashier an earful and the amused employee told him he'd tell his boss.)
• ("What do you dream about?")  "I daydream about Princess Leia, Maleficent and Sleeping Beauty."  (He has brought this up many times.  I think his favorite is Maleficent...)
• "I'm going swimming!" (Comes down in his swimsuit and fights us EVERY Sunday.)
• "I felt the Spirit!"  ("Really?") "Would you be quiet?!  I'm trying to feel it!"
• "I'm pretty blessed!  I have yummy food, my mom is perfect, my dad has a job..." 

Hinckley has also been easier this month.  At the beginning of the month he was honestly a jack-in-the-box when it came to his big boy bed but he's slowly getting the hang of it.  He is talking up a storm, now.  He has started stuttering quite a bit but we aren't concerned- Atticus stuttered at around this same age as his vocabulary grew, too.

We did not see this new stage of fear coming.  He's now afraid of monsters and just thinks that people who make mean faces are "scawy."  Atticus went through this stage, too though, so I'm not sure why it surprised us.  If only Atticus had had a big brother in his room at that time.  With a big brother nearby to sing to him and joke with him, he is just fine at night.  But boy is he a chatterbox!  I'm going to start calling him "Sir Hinckley Talks-a-lot" at bedtime.

Hinckley Speaks-

• "Daddy MEAN!" (Yelled after both he and Atticus had received a rare, angry reprimand from their father.  It was hilarious and totally broke the tension in the room.)
• “Shut your mouth right now!”
• "I punch you!"
• "I kill you!"
• "Fight me!"
• "I don’t want to!"
• "I go Santa’s house. Be fun.  Where’s candy cane, Santa?"
• "Miss Noelle!  Miss Noelle!" (Trying a new tactic to get out of a nap)
• Mommy, sing “oh-ooo-o-o-oooh, ohhh-o” (LOVES to hear and sing "Angels We Have Heard on High")
• "Don’t get angry!"
• "Atticuseses" (This is used both possessively and just in reference to his brother, lately.)
• "Maybe tomoyow/Maybe soon."
• "Maybe latew" (To help me feel better if he hasn’t napped)
• "I want Piyow, I want Blanket!" (Still LOVES his special blanket and pillow.)

Some quarantine shenanigans.  One Sunday Dane helped the boys build a rocket ship.  They've even got buttons and levers that they've drawn inside so they can travel or pretend to watch music videos.

We also were gifted this awesome little kitchen and the boys LOVE it- especially our blender loving 2-year-old.  Hinckley plays with it every day.  So, so grateful!  And look at the ring Atticus made me a few days ago!  So sweet. 

I thought I might start writing a little about Lucy each month. 

Atticus talks about her all the time and how he can't wait (usually it's for her to be bigger so they can play) and she is such an active little girl.  She doesn't do the HUGE, slow yoga moves that Hinckley did or the incessant tap dancing that Atticus did (I swear he was Lord of the Dance while in-utero!) but she does make small but pronounced movements pretty much all day long.  I love it as it helps to set my overly anxious mind at ease.  Even when she wakes me in the early morning I don't mind a bit.  Keep dancing, little one. 

Here is the nursery that Dane painted.  I was painting furniture and making crafts and artwork for several weeks so it's a relief to be done.  It has been such a blessing to have this bright spot to focus on while the world has been going through such turmoil and uncertainty.

April 2020

April has been a wonderful month for our family.  Yes, we've been in quarantine the entire time and yes, we've had some rough days but we feel richly blessed.

One reason we have felt so blessed is because we have a little one on the way!  We started off the month with an April Fool's joke, trying to convince Atticus that we had a baby mouse on the way (we had just read Stuart Little.)  He wasn't fooled in the least!

Since Dane couldn't come to the ultrasound with me this year (thanks to the quarantine) we decided to wait and find out about the gender with our kiddos together.  It was so worth the wait!

https://photos.app.goo.gl/26TK2FEvcVUrtYwN7

Gender Reveal Photo Shoot

 

We've chosen to name our little angel Lucy Laurel.

Dane's great-grandma was named Lucia, the Spanish version of Lucy.  From what I've heard Dane's father and grandfather share, she was the sweetest (tiniest!) little lady and we are proud to have our daughter named after her.

Additionally, while serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Armenia I came to love the name Lusine.  "Lusin" means "Moon" and "luys" means "light."  The same is true for the name Lucy (its root, "lux," means "light.")  I can think of no name that better captures the way we see this sweet little ray of light who is on her way to us.

It might be obvious to most but Laurel is the name of one of my sisters.  I can't remember a time I didn't want to name a daughter after her if I had the chance.  She is just above me in age and, in many ways, was both a mother and best friend to me while growing up.  (This, in no way, means my mother or other sisters were less nurturing.  They are all incredible!)  Our relationship has just always been special.  She has been a rock of steadiness through all of our stages of life.  Her faith and stoicism has been an inspiration to me and I would feel so blessed if my own daughter were to develop similar attributes.

Another reason I've felt so blessed this month is that I love Easter.  It's easily my favorite holiday and, though I missed celebrating with friends, we started a new tradition this year that I loved.  We held our first Passover or Seder meal.
 
I’ve been wanting to do this for years but just haven’t ever gone for it. My family doesn’t love lamb (and I’m not the one shopping right now!) so we substituted garlic chicken and had fried potatoes, Charoset, a boiled egg, “bitter herbs” (romaine lettuce), a karpas veggie (I used green beans and celery), flat bread and grape juice.

We ate at our coffee table (sat on the floor) and watched this beautiful video of the Last Supper (they were celebrating Passover).

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=997ni1xcmKw

I don’t know if Atticus absorbed any of the information I shared (about Passover and how it goes hand in hand with Easter) but preparing for it and making it happen made my Holy Week so much more meaningful.  It's definitely something I want to do every year.  

   
Of course, Easter Sunday came and we had mixed results with trying to make it Christ-centered...but we did our best and my testimony was renewed that our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, lives.  He atoned for our sins, died for us and rose again that we, too, might live again.

At dinner we were disappointed when we asked Atticus to share a reason that he loved Jesus.  He told us he couldn't think of anything.  We started suggesting reasons and he just shook his head, saying, "I don't know anything about it.  You know all about it.  But I don't know."  It took me a while to think it over but, honestly, that is the best thing I could ask of him right now.  He knows that Dane and I know.  Even if he turns his back on everything we believe and teach (how I hope that doesn't happen!), he knows and will remember that we know.  I just want to live my life accordingly with that knowledge and help him to one day come to know for himself.
  
One sweet experience we had this month that might help him come to know involved a lost slingshot.  He'd been told to leave his slingshot on his nightstand but in the morning it had fallen behind his large and pretty much immobile bed.  Grouchy and feeling sick, I was pretty pessimistic about our ability to retrieve it.  Atticus suggested that we pray for help.  Immediately after his prayer I was surprised to find myself able to fish it out on my first try.  Atticus was quick to recognize that his prayer had been answered and has referred to this a few times since.  

Atticus has become quite the artist this month.  He loves going to the Art Hub for Kids and following their directions.  We have all his artwork in a file- he loves watching it as a slide show.  We are so proud of him.  I've also included photos of his costume creations in this file.  This month, alone, he has turned himself into Kylo Ren, the Black Panther and a ninja.  Some of these projects take a LOT of time so I have made a new rule that we can only work on one a day (he would through three in a row at me and it was a great source of frustration) and that has helped me regain some peace.

  

He also knitted himself a hat!  It was meant to be practice so that he could sew a hat for his baby sister (if I can ever get the right yarn from the store!)  It was a rough start for the two of us but once we got going it took only a few days to finish it up.  He did a great job.

But, like any family, this quarantine has had plenty of rough days.  One particularly rough morning Atticus announced that he was running away.  We talked about some of the details of his move.  He was going to live in the dirt hills.  There is a cave over there and he'd take a hockey stick as a weapon to protect himself.  When asked about food, he assured me he'd be back to visit and even added that he'd do his homework when he was visiting.

He packed his little Ninja Turtle suitcase (underwear, socks, a sweatshirt and a bathrobe- during a Las Vegas heat wave!) and, after I convinced him to eat some breakfast, he headed out to the garage.  He took one step out of the garage and his head drooped down.

"It's SO HOT." he said, miserably.

"I know," I replied, "And it's only 8 in the morning!  I think it'll be over 100 today.  I think when we get back Hinckley and I will go swimming."

He looked at me sadly, "I wish I had somewhere to swim."

I whispered back to him, "You don't have to do this."

We headed right back inside to go swimming and had a fairly decent day.

Atticusisms-

• "Hinckley, do you want a smoovly?"
• "I don’t want a girl!...It’s not fair!"
• "Can I PLEASE learn to sew?  Please?!" (The next day, wanting to make slippers for the baby)
• "Look at this!  You will be amazed!  I am so impressed at myself!" (While drawing)
• “... understand?” (After everything he says or suggests.)
• “I hate having a mom!”
• “It’s not fair!”
• “I don’t trust God!” (After a video concluded with the question, “Do you trust God?”)
• "Oh, great!  We’re going to have dolls everywhere!  And I’m going to have to pick them up."

Hinckley was much easier this month.  He can still explode like a volcano but most of the time he is so easy to get along with and goes with the flow.  He still LOVES the vacuum and is always wanting to check on it.  He makes the cutest "vacuum" sound while pushing it around (It's heavy!  He must be really strong to push it around.)   It's the same sound he makes while pretending to "blend" things.
   
He has also taken to playing with our large Darth Vader figurine.  He'll tell me to "talk Darth Vader" and we'll take him all over the playroom and house (I, of course, am pretending to be Darth Vader while the two of them talk.)  He especially loves to put Darth Vader (or any stuffed animal) to sleep in his crib.  He turns on the sound machine, turns off the lights, sings a song and tells whoever is in his crib, "Night night, sweet dreams."

I have felt for quite some time that all of this nurturing indicates he will be a wonderful big brother.  This morning I was even more convinced.  After taking him for a walk in the stroller he wanted to push it down the street.  The entire time he was pretending there was a baby in the stroller.  Every so often, he would pretend the baby was crying, saying, "Waah, waah.  Baby crying.  I stop."  He would go to the front and say, "It's okay, baby."  After I showed him just once, he would go to the front, pretend to hold the baby, saying, "Sh" and then put the baby back and keep walking.  It's crazy- he really hasn't been around very many children who are smaller than him.  I believe that compassion and nurturing are spiritual gifts that just come naturally to him.

Don't let this sweet side fool you, though.  He's as tough as nails.  He has become quite the sword fighter this month (the two fight with lightsabers all the time).  He makes the fiercest face you've ever seen and really puts up a good fight.  And he is violently protective of his brother.  Whenever Atticus gets in trouble with Dane, Hinckley yells and follows Dane around yelling, "STOP IT!" and hitting him.

This month he started nodding (if he has before this, I haven't noticed.)  It's so cute- he has to think about it and does it with such large motions that he looks like he's head banging.

I'm happy to report that he has had far more success sleeping in his big boy bed. We still have setbacks, however.  A couple of times he has touched his poop (he seems to want to poop only when he is relaxed in bed.  I'm not sure what to make of it.)  Thankfully he hasn't played with it yet but any suggestions would be appreciated to keep this from getting out of hand.  For now, if he touches his poop he has to sleep in his crib that evening.  It definitely seems effective.

Hinckley speaks-

• ("Do you want a boy or a girl?")  "Girl!" 
• "No!  It’s too dangerous!" (In response to one of Atticus's suggestions)
• "Gosh dang it!"
• "Daddy working?"  ("Yes.") "He always comes back."
• "Bless blender to sleep well, bless ___ to sleep well... Bless (anyone suggested) to sleep well.”
• “I not scawed.” ("I'm not scared.")
• "Mommy, I scawed."
• “I did it!”
• "I get a TWEAT!" (Each morning after keeping the sleep rules in his big boy bed.) 
• "Mmmm, delicious."
• "That amazing!"
• "Aaah!  Bee!"  (Yelled in terror at the sight of ANY bug- or leaf resembling a bug)
• "Pencil! No cran, no marker!" (Loves using pencils lately.  Holds it remarkably well.)
• "Yeah, sure." (Answer to just about everything)
• "OKAY!" (Often yelled in reply when asked to do something multiple times.)

This was our first entire month spent in quarantine.  Once again, we've found many fun ways to spend our time but there have also been days that felt like weeks.  As always, counting our blessings never fails to help us.
  
One such blessing came in the form of a blend tec jar.  It sounds silly when I write it, but I was frustrated.  The rotating blade in our jar had gotten rigid and we were worrying it would ruin our blender motor.  I had begun searching for a replacement but was reluctant to pay the $100 or more that it would require.  Then, just a few days later, a friend and fellow church member shared that she had one she wanted to give away for free.  Even in small ways, like this, the Lord shows us that He's aware of us and cares, even about the details.
 
Our prayers continue to go out for those on the front lines who are fighting this illness and especially for those who have been and will be affected financially.  The effects of this quarantine will be long lasting and devastating, I'm afraid.  But I believe that people can rise to the occasion if given the chance.  We can help each other get through the recovery that is on the horizon.

Until next month!  Here's hoping that I get to see many of you by then.  Stay strong, my friends.